Sunday in the Park

What: Sunday in the Park (fellowship, fun, Bible study for Single Adults 35+)
 
Topic: "One Is a Whole Number" 
 
When: starts this Sunday afternoon  (weekly thru July 22) - fun at 4:00, group starts at 5:00, done by 6:30
 
Where: at the Arboretum Park (about half-way between Whipple & Cleveland Avenue on 38th Street, NW in Canton). We will meet in Shelter #7 (except July 1st in Shelter 8)
 
Weekly schedule (something like this):
   4:00pm - outdoor games ( corn-hole, croquet, bocce ball, frisbee golf, etc.)
   5:00pm - refreshments/ice-breakers
   5:15pm - worship time (pray, sing, etc.)
   5:35pm - presentation on the topic by Craig Henry
   6:00pm - table talk (picnic table discussion groups)
   6:30pm - closing prayer
   * perhaps a walk around the park before or after

DRW Is Back!

Divorce Recovery Workshop at Dueber Church
Mondays at 7pm - March 5 - April 23, 2012
registration fee, tba
330/456-8357
www.dueber.org

Successful Relationships Workshop at The Chapel (Akron Campus)
Fridays at 7pm - January 13 - March 2, 2012
In the Auditorium at the Akron Campus
$35 registration fee ($40 after Jan. 4th)
330/315-5517
the-chapel.org/adults/singles

Grief Recovery Workshop at Canton First Friends Church
Tuesdays at 7pm - January 17 - March 6, 2012
$25 registration fee ($30 after Jan. 10th)
330/966-2800
firstfriends.org

I Will Come to Your Singles Event!
As you can see, I am guest speaking at various churches.
If your church might be interested in hosting a workshop, visit here: singlespastor5.blogspot.com
Eight different 8-week workshops for single adults (or weekend conferences) to choose from. Let's talk!

Friendship

Oh, the comfort ~
The inexpressible comfort ~
Of feeling safe with a person,
Having neither
to weigh thoughts,
Nor measure words ~ but pouring
them all right out ~ just as they are ~
Chaff and grain together ~
Certain that a faithful hand will
take and sift them ~
Keep what is worth keeping ~
and with a breath of kindness
Blow the rest away.

- George Eliot

Good grief

There is a time for holding on, a time to hope, and a time for letting go.
- John P. Splinter

Manage Conflict, Manage Yourself

If you are patient in one moment of anger, you will escape a hundred days of sorrow.

- Chinese Proverb

A life of reaction is a life of slavery. One must fight for a life of action, not reaction.

- Rita Mae Brown

For many good people, divorce and the years that follow are angry, bitter times with two people who once held hands and said silly love things now lined up behind lawyers, ready to do battle.

- Dennis Rogers

The trouble with most people is their trouble with most people.

- anonymous

The problems that exist in the world today cannot be solved by the level of thinking that created them.

- Albert Einstein

The truth is that there is nothing noble in being superior to somebody else. The only real nobility is in being superior to your former self.

- Whitney Young

Lord, where we are wrong, make us willing to change;
where we are right, make us easy to live with.

- Peter Marshall

A mind once stretched by a new idea never regains its original dimension.

- Oliver Wendell Holmes

Ten enemies cannot do a man the harm that he does to himself.

- Yiddish Proverb

Helpful interaction with your former spouse will require the dismantling of a brick wall—brick-by-brick.

- anonymous

Don’t waste time fixing the blame; fix the cause.

- Zig Ziglar

To retaliate in kind would do nothing but intensify the existence of hate in the universe. Along the way of life, someone must have sense enough, and morality enough, to cut off the chain of hate.

- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Do not be angry that you cannot make others as you would wish them to be, since you cannot make yourself as you wish to be.

- Thomas à Kempis

Never argue with a fool. People might not be able to tell the difference!

- anonymous

We evaluate others with a godlike justice, but we want them to evaluate us with a godlike compassion.

- Sydney J. Harris

If you scatter thorns, don’t go barefoot.

- Italian proverb

Those who plot the destruction of others often perish in the attempt.

- Thomas More

Heat not a furnace for your foe so hot that it do singe yourself.

- William Shakespeare (Henry VIII)

Sometimes it’s worse to win a fight than to lose.

- Billie Holiday

Fresh Starts and New Beginnings

Nothing is ruined beyond God's ability to restore.

- Jack Hayford

Hope comes as a companion; she slips her arm around your shoulder and offers to help you stumble toward change.

- Patsy Clairmont

Be not afraid of growing slowly, be afraid only of standing still.

- Chinese Proverb

God does not lead His children around hardship, but leads them straight through hardship. But He leads! And amidst the hardship, He is nearer to them than ever before.

- Otto Dibelius

I don’t have the right, Lord,
.....to ask You to protect me from all hurts in life,
..........but
Do give me the Grace to
.....Turn my scars into stars…

- Hungarian proverb

Divorce Recovery Workshop coming soon!

Oct. 1 - Nov. 19
Thursdays at 7:00 pm
Jackson Friends Church
directions

For the divorced and those in the process of divorce...

Discover help, hope and healing in the context of supportive friends who have taken the journey of recovery before you.

Topics:

~ Is There Life After Divorce?

~ Will The Pain Go Away?

~ How Can I cope With My Ex?

~ What's Ahead For Me?

~ Can I Put The Past Behind Me?

~ Does Singleness Mean Loneliness?

~ How Can I Be Sure This Will Never
Happen To Me Again?

~ Where Do I Go From Here?

Download a brochure (PDF) with complete information and The registration form. Also, please print out a poster to help us get the word out about DRW. Go to:

JacksonFriends.org/singles.htm

Jackson Friends Church directions

We look forward to meeting you. Tell a friend.

- Pastor Craig

Is it possible to forgive someone yet want to see them suffer the consequences for their behavior?

Forgiving Is Not Condoning
by John Ortberg, author of Everyone's Normal Until You Get to Know Them

Divorce Q&A by Relationship Experts Les & Leslie Parrott

Just click on the questions to see the video response:
www.realrelationships1.com/DV.php


The Parrotts have written what I believe is the best book on relationships for single adults, Relationships: How to make Bad Relationships Better and Good Relationships Great (plus several great marriage books).

Recovery Is Not an Event

Divorce recovery is not an event. It is a process. You grow through that process a minute, an hour, a day, a week at a time.

- Jim Smoke

Lord, I Don’t Want To Be Divorced!

When the realization set in that after 16 years of marriage I would be divorced, I felt totally abandoned, almost desolate. Even by God. I cried out to God, “My God, Why have you forsaken me?” I had always believed that my God was a God of miracles, that He could and would do the impossible. That somehow He would just ‘zap’ my ex-husband and soon he would be back confessing undying love for me and instantly become a wonderful husband and father and the spiritual leader of our home.

But slowly, painfully, I learned that God didn’t create any human robots. He never forces anyone to do anything against their will. He gave us all choices. Choices to be, choices to do right or wrong; however we may choose. Slowly I have learned that I am, “hard pressed on every side but not crushed; perplexed but not in despair; struck down but not destroyed” (2 Corinthians 4:8,9).

But, what about the children, Lord? You gave these three children to two parents to raise and I can’t do this alone! And He answered me from His Word, “As I was with Moses, so I will be with you. I will never leave you or forsake you… Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified, do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you” (Joshua 1:5,9).

But Lord, I’m afraid. I’m not strong enough for this. There are three of them and one of me! And He answered me from His Word, “I have chosen you and have not rejected you, so do not fear for I am with you; do not be dismayed for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. For I am the Lord your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, ‘Do not fear, I will help you’” (Isaiah 41:9,10,13).

But Lord, my children need their father! And His Word says, “God’s a Father to the fatherless” (Psalm 68:5) and “I will be a Father to you and you will be my sons and daughters” (2 Corinthians 6:18).

But Lord, I’ve been married for so long. I don’t want to be without a husband. I feel so ashamed and embarrassed! And His Word says, “Do not be afraid, you will not suffer shame. Do not fear disgrace, you will not be humiliated. You will forget the shame of your youth and remember no more the reproach of your widowhood. For your Maker is your husband, the Lord Almighty is His name; The Lord will call you back as you were a wife deserted and distressed in spirit—a wife who married young only to be rejected, says your God. For a brief moment I abandoned you, but with deep compassion I will bring you back. In a surge of anger I hid my face from you for a moment, but with everlasting kindness I will have compassion on you, says the Lord your Redeemer”
(Isaiah 54:4-8).

But Lord, how will we live? We can’t afford this — we’ll go hungry! And He answered me from His Word, “I have never seen the righteous forsaken or their children begging bread.” (Psalm 37:25) “And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:19).

But Lord, the nights are long and fearful. Maybe I’ll get a big watchdog. But, then I read in His Word, “I will lie down and sleep in peace, for you alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety” (Psalm 4:8).

But Lord, I worry, the future is so uncertain. And he answered me from His Word, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:6-7).

Lord, I think about what my life was like in the better days of my marriage. I wish I could go back. And again, He answered me from His Word, “Forgetting what is behind and reaching forth to what is ahead. I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 3:13).

Now, I look at where I am now, a single mom with three kids, a dog and a cat, and I feel a bit more confident and no longer fearful. I know that whatever problems or situations may come my way, my Father God will guide me and give me strength and wisdom. I’ll probably make mistakes, but that’s OK. For I can say with His Word, “I can do everything through Him who gives me strength” (Philippians 4:13).

- by Judy, a previous DRW facilitator

The 50 Dollar Bill

A well-known speaker started off his seminar by holding up a 50 dollar bill. In the room of 200 people, he asked, "Who would like this 50 dollar bill?" Hands started going up. He said, "I am going to give this 50 dollar bill to one of you, but first, let me do this." He proceeded to crumple the 50 dollar bill up, then asked, "Does anyone still want it?" Hands still went up. "Well," he continued, "what if I do this?" Then he dropped it on the ground and stomped on it with his shoe. Now crumpled up and dirty, he picked it up and asked, "Now who wants it?" Still the hands kept going up.

"My friends, you have all learned a very valuable lesson... No matter what I did to the money, you still wanted it, because it did not decrease in value. It was still worth 50 dollars."

The speaker continued, "Many times in our lives, we are crumpled up, dropped and stepped on, by the circumstances that come our way, and the things that happen in our lives...we feel as though we are worthless. But no matter what has happened or what will happen, you will never lose your value — dirty or clean, dropped or stepped on — you are still priceless to those who love you. The worth of our lives comes, not in what we do or whom we know, but in WHO WE ARE.”

And what you are is a unique, unrepeatable miracle of God. Never forget that fact. Allow that knowledge to affect the way you see yourself, the way you live your life, and the way you relate to other people.

From weakness into strength

In his book, Beginning Again, Terry Hershey writes, "God not only says that failure is never the final word, but that your area of weakness will become your area of strength. Where you were weak and learned grace will become a place where you can reach out and touch the lives of others who need the same good news.

"God is not only working to heal you, but to heal others through you, to make you what Henri Nouwen called a 'wounded healer.'

"Such healing doesn't happen through the man or woman who has all the answers. It happens through the man or woman who understands pain and grace. Nouwen explains, 'For a deep understanding of his own pain makes it possible for the [wounded healer] to convert his weaknesses into strength and to offer his experience as a source of healing to those who are often lost in the darkness of their own misunderstood suffering.' "

"God. . .comforts us in all our trials so we can comfort others who are experiencing difficulties" (2 Corinthians 1:4).

I believe it was Ernest Hemingway who first used the phrase,
"growing strong in the broken places." The idea behind these words is that where a bone is broken and heals, it becomes the strongest part of the bone.

The same is true of our broken places–-where we have been hurt, have fallen or failed. When we bring these to Christ for his healing, his strength is then made perfect in and through our weaknesses. This is certainly true in ministering effectively to other people. They are helped, not through our brilliant logic, nor persuasive speech, but through the sharing of our struggles, and how, with God's help, we have overcome. It is a case of one beggar showing other beggars where to find bread.

This is why the Apostle Paul could say, "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose" (Romans 8:28).

- Dick Innes

Splitting it down the middle

SPLITTING IT DOWN THE MIDDLE
German man chainsaws house in two in divorce split

A 43-year-old German decided to settle his imminent divorce by chainsawing a family home in two and making off with his half in a forklift truck.

Police in the eastern town of Sonneberg said on Friday the trained mason measured the single-storey summer house -- which was some 8 meters (26 feet) long and 6 meters wide -- before chainsawing through the wooden roof and walls.

"The man said he was just taking his due," said a police spokesman. "But I don't think his wife was too pleased."

After finishing the job, the man picked up his half with the forklift truck and drove to his brother's house where he has since been staying.

- BERLIN, Reuters Life!, March 9, 2007

Ten Commandments for Formerly Marrieds

1. Thou shalt not live in thy past.
2. Thou shalt be responsible for thy present and not blame thy past for it.
3. Thou shalt not feel sorry for thyself indefinitely.
4. Thou shalt assume thy share of the blame for thy marriage dissolution.
5. Thou shalt not try to reconcile thy past and reconstruct thy future by a quick, new marriage.
6. Thou shalt not make thy children the victims of thy past marriage.
7. Thou shalt not spend all thy time trying to convince thy children how terrible and evil their departed parent is.
8. Thou shalt learn all thou can about being a one parent family and get on with it.
9. Thou shalt ask others for help when thou needest it.
10. Thou shalt ask God for the wisdom to bury yesterday, create today and plan for tomorrow.

- Jim Smoke, Growing Through Divorce

Sunshine after Rain

Sunshine is much more
valued after endless days of rain,
as is joy after sorrow,
faith after it is tested,
peace after times of turmoil,
trust after betrayal,
hope after disappointment,
and love after it is lost.
So whatever good
you have today,
be truly grateful for it,
for tomorrow it may be gone.

© Dick Innes, 2001, www.actsweb.org

Just For Today

Just For Today, I will try to live through this day only, and not tackle my whole life problem at once. I can do something for twelve hours that would appall me if I felt that I had to keep it up for a lifetime.

Just For Today, I will be happy. This assumes to be true what Abraham Lincoln said, that “most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be.”

Just For Today, I will adjust myself to what is, and not try to adjust everything to my own desires. I will take my lot as it comes and fit myself to it.

Just For Today, I will try to strengthen my mind. I will study; I will learn something useful. I will not be a mental loafer. I will read something that requires effort, thought and concentration.

Just For Today, I will be agreeable. I will look as well as I can, dress becomingly, talk low, act courteously, criticize not one bit, not find fault with anything, and not try to improve or regulate anybody except myself.

Just For Today, I will exercise my soul in three ways; I will do somebody a good turn, and not get found out. If anybody knows of it, it will not count. I will do at least two things I don’t want to do—just for exercise. I will not show anyone that my feelings are hurt; they may hurt, but today I will not show it.

Just For Today, I will have a program. I may not follow it exactly, but I will have it. I will save myself from two pests—hurry and indecision.

Just For Today, I will have a quiet half hour with myself and God, and relax. During this half hour, sometime, I will try to get a better perspective of my life.

Just For Today, I will be unafraid. Especially I will not be afraid to enjoy what is beautiful, and to believe that as I give, so it will be given to me.

- Sibyl F. Partridge

How To Survive a Divorce

Ten things to do when you realize divorce is inevitable

1. When the reality of divorce hits you, stop long enough to commit your entire situation to God through prayer, and ask Him to provide you with help, guidance, and emotional support.
2. Call your best friends and ask them for their prayers and emotional support.
3. Stay in touch with your feelings and share them with people you can trust.
4. Don’t spiritualize your situation. You may have to live out a bad decision that someone else has made.
5. Don’t panic! Remember, no matter what happens, God is still in charge.
6. Contact an attorney to find out about your legal grounds.
7. Make a list of all your fears. Then make a list of all your resources.
8. Pull as many members of your family around you as you can. Ask them for their love and support.
9. Attend a Divorce Recovery Workshop and participate in the small group discussions. Read Growing Through Divorce many times.
10. Remember, healing takes time. There is no quick fix for a divorce.

- Jim Smoke, Moving Forward

Triumph in the midst of tragedy

Like a fire can destroy a whole forest, so divorce can destroy our lives. For awhile, it feels like recovery will never come. But new life can spring forth from the ashes! The Grow through Divorce blog is intended to build hope and a new direction for life.

Is there life after divorce? With God's help, not only is survival possible, but there is also a unique opportunity for personal growth. Many have found help, hope, and healing.

Discover how it is possible to not just go through your divorce, but to actually grow through it, too. Why not join over us on the journey toward recovery? Let's make this an upbeat and encouraging group—avoiding all griping and complaining!

My plan is to regularly post uplifting thoughts and point you to resources that will help you grow through divorce.

Grow through Divorce

Welcome to "Grow through Divorce." This blog is not about me but is intended to be a destination where people going through divorce can come for inspiration and encouragement.

Dialog is encouraged, so the comments feature is enabled. However, the moderation feature is enabled to prevent spam, profile-posting, and inappropriate comments.